My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
