The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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