So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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