You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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