some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
