i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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