Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
