Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
