i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
