i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think I just sharted jello shots
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
