Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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