I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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