it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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