An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
