peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
