In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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