I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
