There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
