I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize