Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
