it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
