Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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