his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
