and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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