i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
