when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
