Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
