3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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