it hurts more in the daytime
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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