wakey wakey hands off snakey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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