drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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