You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
