Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
