I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
