So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
