How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
