my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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