Kiss
Puke
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
love makes seman taste better
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
