i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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