for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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