And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
