look no pants
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
