Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
