I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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