if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
