i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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