i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
