I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
why is half of my head shaved?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
