i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
