are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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