im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
