Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
