hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
