ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
