why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
BRING THE BAGELS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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