WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize