You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
