he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
