I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm at about main and main street
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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