You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize