I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
