if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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