but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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