you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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