If that was your dad, he is hot
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
