Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
