I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
