I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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