he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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