can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
