Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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