If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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