I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize