her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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