We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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